Let’s face it
English is a stupid language
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French Fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn’t be the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why didn’t the preacher praught
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play?
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
How can be the weather is as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all?)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why is it that when I wind up my watch
But when I wind up this poem
p.s pics from the web :)